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Meaning

by Field Mouse

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1.
Meaning 01:25
White moon out tonight Four and twenty eyes Do you see me, I live upstairs I wait forever there Elemental and polite my shadow, filled with fire and time spins on, and on but meaning is gone the meaning is gone so just make it up
2.
It didn’t start this way, I can assure you All your sweetness drained, you call to say “I can see the future and it looks gray” I’d never wish bad things for you Mid-Atlantic stuck in the sprawl I still got a heart of gold I still got a heart I’d never want bad things for you Isn’t it enough just to know I still got a heart of gold I still got a heart Skyline ‘cross the lake, crossing back home on the holiday I kept dreaming of cars crashing, now I still wake up haunted by the sound Between two worlds, sometimes the signal weakens I met my evil self and beat her, now the road depends on where I’ve been I’d never wish bad things for you Mid-Atlantic stuck in the sprawl I still got a heart of gold I still got a heart I’d never want bad things for you Is it enough to know the truth I still got a heart, you know I still got a heart
3.
In Blue 03:50
When the light comes in blue to the center of the room in love and useless, forgotten tunes you hate the room but love the view Turn it off, I don’t want to hear the sound of a century crashing to the ground A throwaway line please forget about the last time come around, Mae, just try to see the farthest reaching arm of light out in the sky Seventeen years ago, I wrote something down folded it up, pushed it down into the back of my mouth I’ve died so many deaths since then I can’t tell you the last time I stopped to rest A throwaway line please forget about the last time come around, Mae, just try to see the farthest reaching arm of light out in the sky We stay alive, to see the planets realign a second time
4.
Skygazing 03:32
I lost the best minds of my generation or it’s possible that I never even knew them Counterproductive substance and absence no one has time to think You may have been evil once upon a time but who am I to say anything This is all to say that you decide the meaning the You I meet in dreams is really just me and I haven’t learned a thing Skygazing Dragged out of the party laughing Scraped so clean I didn’t feel it happen Once a day the clock strikes late I still don’t have much time to waste on that feeling This is all to say that you decide the meaning The you I meet in dreams is really just me and I haven’t learned a thing Skygazing Must have slept through the ending, when I woke up everyone was gone Learn to treat the symptoms, baby learn to sing along
5.
Come and hitch a ride go on outside, this is an imaginary line Burning up at night, fire-fight summoning the will to feel alright every night, every night Holding out forever Scan the room to see something there to save us eventually, eventually Some days I still feel like myself, but today I woke up more like you Willing it away, I close the space Is it the more selfish thing to do? do the words get through? Will this be the last one? Can you speak the last line? Holding out forever Scan the room to see something there to save us eventually, eventually Cross it off together some makeshift galaxy Scrap your plans and trace it out with me Will this be the last one? Can you speak the last line? Caught at the horizon, still photons of light Flash into focus, Then endless night Oh, to be the last ones Holding out forever scan the room to see the axis stands without us endlessly Hollow days that mark our place and it all comes down, the last gasp of echoed sound The last ones The last ones The last one
6.
It’s everywhere we go now bearing all its weight until it slows us both down monolith of the day it’s everywhere Look around, what sets this strange scene Pieces of a world where we are nothing Sleepwalk, find myself stuck in someone else’s dream Interrupt and hear the cadence of the silent sound of everything There was a warm home inside you where you left the shades drawn, so I wandered in It’s everywhere I go now through my dreams tonight I didn’t recognize you how I remembered from life it took me three whole years to look you in the eye and even now I Sleepwalk, watch myself from above always running to catch up when alone I remember the road when I could like it calm before the time split Mission Central Station, drew your face from life, from life so I could frame it Headlights pass by, drive me out of sight to the dark of the side where the rain comes down and it comes down We go further still in time (We have met before and we will meet again)
7.
Visitors 04:04
Light up all the dark corners now I’m awake and overwhelmed by sound Vision quested, learned lessons kind of like there’s a way out of my head Show me what is if that’s not some kind of death Thought you’d find indestructible design in a version of me for you Now you watch it go at alarming intervals do you think there’s such a place as home? How do we define the worse it gets? Is there still time to not happen yet? We take a drive to the center, but the center moves again on the way home, talk about the day we had and that we’re bound to forget Thought you’d find indestructible design in a version of me for you Now we watch it go at alarming intervals do you think there’s such a place as home? Thoughts that splinter, landscapes flicker, recall only the last time Moving forward, steady as an arrow through lives that aren’t mine interrupt the silence, calculate the mileage, I think we don’t know much of anything Visitors, always hovering
8.
I want to drive out of the city lights We’ve got nothing left to say tonight we are resolute and galvanized as our dream versions together I wake up at 4 am, I’m out of space and time again, I think I’ve lost the link from heart to head have I let it go forever? Till the soil beneath your feet Holding out, planting seeds And now in the distance, I can see a tiny spark is it the end or just a change? A comet with no name See it coming round again I hear your ghost notes through the stereo when I’m alone I like to talk to you Molecules for comfort, all I am is what I see and what I do I’ll listen in when the sound deserves it everyone else has already lived and learned it And now in the distance, I can see a tiny spark is it the end or just a change? A comet with no name See it coming round again I don’t want to stay asleep but I don’t want to know closing the blinds, open the sky, swallow me whole what is a life, what is a life without a home? Is it a lie, is it a trial Could it be so? And now in the distance, I can see a tiny spark is it the end or just a change, a change A comet with no name See it coming round again Gotta make it out
9.
Melody woke me “sorry about the moon”, the song goes I used to love it Words like these for sad teens I’m more optimistic Tonight, looked outside at the waning gibbous Am I gonna fall asleep wondering? Am I gonna fall asleep? Years back in the Reagan days, I was born on a full moon A Tuesday night well spent Now if I stay awake I’ll hear the birthday song sung like it’s the first one in about two weeks “Am I gonna make something that outlives me?” Yeah, for that we better hope we both get lucky Interstate to interstate I found a new age running toward some golden flame that I can’t save Now I watch the snow turn blue at dusk things that we’ve forgotten bend and rust Night it comes colossal through the blinds to me Am I gonna fall asleep wondering? Am I gonna fall asleep?
10.
Plague No. 8 03:24
Locusts swarm my body Think they sense a dream dying Charisma mildew Coast to coast gets rocky An elementary lesson plan, no pay to ease the suffering I got older I became my own vessel I changed all my cells now I can’t see so well We used to dig such big, big holes looking for the impossible bones I wish I had known her the box full to its brim of all the ways I wanted to be seen For me: the dead living When I get older will I remember saying this?
11.
Blind Spot 03:43
If you believe it’s gold, then it’s gold Any two-bit appraiser will tell you so Alchemical prize for the last of the Western rush She used to say it all the time But years passed and now it’s mine Erasing you was easy once I figured it out and now that you’re gone completely I am the last monument standing When you wake you will remember everything Running slowly through a dream half blind and screaming, screaming where’s he off to with that gun imagining is no fun, no fun I should have vanished upstate there wasn’t much to come back to anyway nothing new, it’s always been the same But now it just feels too late Running faster through the scene When you wake you will remember everything Let’s call it off Don’t think you want Want what you want Running faster through the scene Eyes shut and screaming, screaming till my face turns red why do they shoot horses when it’s just a broken leg?

about

"A lot has happened in the three years since our last record came out. While there is far too much to say about it all in one place, we wrote this album anyway. What are the broad strokes, you ask? It's more or less about the end of the world and all of the ways that it seems to be happening, but also about making peace with former selves and growing as a person despite the feeling of global entropy. Also: strange internet versions of our friends and selves, bouts of insomnia and picking through the dreams that followed, the importance of forgiveness, and creating meaning in a world that increasingly feels like total chaos. What is the function of art in a place like this? Is anything we make going to last? I am not sure, but here are 11 songs looking for the answer. What I do know is that art connects us to each other and to our feelings and our selves. It is a liferaft, and I hope that we can all continue to put it into the world, appreciate it, and share it indefinitely."
- Rachel Browne

credits

released August 16, 2019

❍ Produced by Andrew Futral, Rachel Browne & Kyle Gilbride
❍ Engineered by Kyle Gilbride, Andrew Futral & Rachel Browne
❍ Additional engineering by Mark Watter at Headroom & Evan Bernard at Big Mama's Recording
❍ Mixed by Michael Eisenstein
❍ Mastered by Ryan Schwabe
❍ Photography by Katie Krulock
❍ Layout by Kevin Duquette

Rachel Browne - vocals, guitars
Andrew Futral - guitars
Saysha Heinzman - bass, harmonies
Zoë Browne - keyboards, harmonies
Anne Dole - drums
Zena Kay - pedal steel on tracks 4, 6, 9, 10
Rebecca Schlappich Charles - viola & violin on tracks 6 & 11
Emma Method - viola on tracks 1, 4, 6, 7, 11
Justin Yoder - cello on tracks 1, 4, 6, 7, 11
Lorenzo Mazzamuto - violin on tracks 1, 4, 6, 7, 11

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Field Mouse Brooklyn, New York

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rachel
andrew
saysha
zoë

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